If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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