I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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