I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So vagazzling was a success
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
