what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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