shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
