Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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