i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
