isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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