I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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