I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
