Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
