omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
