i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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