Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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