i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
