I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize