this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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