i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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