A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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