Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
