Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
