I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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