hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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