Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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