smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
