Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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