Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
