Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
