Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think my vagina is haunted
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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