How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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