I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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