jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
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If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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