im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
