i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
