he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
