Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize