That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
