why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
