Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
