yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
