She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
