You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
