So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
