I heard we made out
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
