David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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