Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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