My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
