But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
