I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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