K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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