Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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