Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
