The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
