so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
