I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
