he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
