if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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