Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
