You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
