I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
