Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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