i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
