after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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