halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
